five dollars and a pair of tits

i did not just spend the the rest of my itunes gift certificate on jingle cats: rhythm and mews.

oh wait, yes i did.

i have a ticket for tomorrow, yay! plus i get to spend an hour in atlanta!

i took some pictures of the new apartment, mainly to piss off my new york friends. everyone in other parts of the country probably won't be impressed by the fact that there are closets in the bedroom, and there's room for a coffee table, but whatever.


we can eat at a table!




ICE MAKER!


these are IN THE APARTMENT


pantry!


we really need to work on the bedding


this is the extra closet (the other one is a walk-in, holy crap)


i'm putting this one up cuz i love the star lights


the living room is huge and ugly


view from the porch... it probably looks a lot better in the summer


we have an actual liquor cabinet!


our super awesome faux wood tv

we got some pretty awesome plates and flatware (including teeny tiny forks and spoons, in case we have teeny tiny people over for dinner or something.)

right now i'm watching this three hour special on a&e about cats. it's pretty awesome. i miss the kittens.

eliza's top 10 cd's she burned for british paul this year
(i am not very good at writing about music, but everybody is making lists and i want to too.)

1. calla - collisions
clearly their best work ever, and my favorite album of the year by far. plus aurelio is the hottest thing ever.

2. interpol - antics
i saw like seven shows on this tour and the songs kept getting better and better. i really really enjoy every track on this album, which is really rare.

3. editors - the back room
they sound a lot like interpol except more depressed and they're english so obviously i love them.

4. fishcherspooner - odyssey
normally i don't listen to electronic music but this album is totally mind-blowing. i managed to miss all 49584 of the shows they played in nyc after this came out, but i'm told they're equally awesome live.

5. ashlee simpson - autobiography
normally i don't listen to crappy music but i really enjoy most of the stuff on this. if you can ignore the fact that it's ashlee simpson, a lot of it is actually pretty rocknroll.

6. kaiser chiefs - employment
after i burned this cd for paul, he played it at least twice a night at odessa, and i think that out of all of these, it might have been the only one he actually liked. it's not that original, but that doesn't mean it's not really fun to listen to. i'm a huge fan of a lot of the gang of four ripoff bands and this one does it really well.

7. scissor sisters - scissor sisters
i first heard this band in the back of someone's car in boston after a cure show. i think i was throwing up into an empty doritos bag, and this girl offered me a line of coke at the same time as someone put this on the stereo.... so there's basically no way i could not love this band. plus, the dude sounds like elton john.

8. the realistics - go ahead ep
when i first moved to new york, mahsa and i kept trying to go see this band, then they broke up, and we kept trying to see the singer's solo shows. we totally failed, of course, because we were like 19 and i didn't have a fake id and we didn't know how to sneak into places yet. so three years later, the closest i've come to seeing dennis play is stealing this demo from him, and it's fucking awesome. i fucking hate my 19 year old self.

9. kelly osbourne - sleeping in the nothing
"one word" is a genius song and that is all i have to say about this.

10. the cure - galore
did i ever tell you about the time i kissed robert smith?

so all my pictures were corrupted but i figured out how to fix them. yay!

so basically i spent new years eve at a genuine hillbilly tavern that john mellencamp used to frequent. it was pretty amazing.

the first picture is from earlier in the night- it's my uncle cutting our birthday cake and me trying to hide


(my family aren't hillbillies, but they are farmers.)


my cousin and i shortly before leaving for the tavern, and strangely pissed off




this guy had propositioned me within 15 minutes of me walking in the door... sadly, randall and i no longer have an open relationship


after a while, a shockingly fantastic band took over

a few hours later, i caught sight of the first cute hipster boy i'd seen since leaving chicago. it turns out he lives in nashville and was visiting family in medora.


a while later, all my dreams came true and he picked up a guitar and joined in with the band


someone told me i had to carve my name into a big piece of wood in the bathroom, so i did




tons of people were dancing and it was pretty awesome


the bouncer was awesome


i absolutely MUST HAVE this jacket

it was the weirdest new years eve i've ever had, but there was a free taco bar, and i got drunk on $11, and it was the most fun i've had in months.

yay, i have mean anonymous people commenting in my journal again. i don't understand why people get so horribly offended by my lifestyle... i mean, maybe it's not what they want to be doing, but who the fuck cares? i also think it's a bit rich that someone is telling me to "grow up" in an anonymous lj comment.

i probably fucked someone this person has a crush on, though, or else i've spilled a drink on them or something, so i'm not going to get too worked up over any of this.

but hey, here's an open call:

DO YOU HATE ELIZA? DO YOU THINK SHE'S A SUPID SPOILED SLUT WHO NEEDS TO GET HER PRIORITIES IN LINE AND STOP DRINKING SO MUCH? DO YOU HOPE SHE GETS HERPES (IF SHE DOESN'T ALREADY HAVE IT) AND DIES A HORRIBLE, LONELY DEATH WITH HER VAGINA COVERED IN SORES? IS IT BECAUSE SHE FUCKED YOUR BOYFRIEND? COMMENT HERE AND YOU MAY BE CONTACTED TO APPEAR IN A FUTURE JOURNAL ENTRY ENTITLED "I'M MAD BECAUSE I'M UGLY."


sigh. i have to be up in a few hours. i can't find any of the cats so i have to sleep alone tonight :( at least i have a copy of the collected short stories of roald dahl to keep me company.

i'm so excited about next weekend!

i'm sick. grrr.

i'm leaving for indiana on saturday morning. i guess i'll be ringing in the new year with my cousins who don't talk to me ever (and possibly one cool cousin but probably not) and gossipy aunts and uncles. i kind of wish i was going to la, but at least this way i won't still be hungover on my birthday. so whatever.

next saturday randall and i are going to ikea to pick out stuff for the memphis apartment. it;s going to be kind of hard because i haven't actually seen the apartment yet, and he can't remember exactly what's already there, but we have a $200 budget to pick out fun, pretty things. here's what the apartment supposedly looks like:





definitely not my style, and i'm kind of worried because it looks super sunny, but i'm sure curtains and vases of flowers everywhere will help.

honestly all i really want are lots and lots of different kinds of glasses. tall beer glasses and highball glasses and pretty martini glasses and mugs and teacups and all that...


the top part comes off and you put ice in the bottom to keep your drink cold when you're not drinking it. genius.


and obviously a set of these is pretty indispensable.


i think i would feel classy drinking out of these


and we will obviously need sundae dishes

omg and one of these for all the sprinkles and stuff


but we might have to get these instead

awwwww

and we DEFINITELY need a cake stand



apparently all i'm planning on doing in memphis is drinking cocktails and eating dessert.

holy crap i'm so excited about being domestic. i'm going to bake cookies make randall breakfast in the morning and i will have a martini waiting for him when he gets home from work. i think i'm going to need an apron. and a really phallic cocktail shaker.

so a few nights ago mahsa and nora and i decided to go to a lame bar and take pictures.


awww we're so adorable


this is the guy who bought us drinks all night. he owns vitamin stores or something. how weird is that?


this is an ugly person we met


here are some ugly people we didn't meet


i was NOT holding up my drink and trying to make a "party" face, i was trying to get away from the guy who was trying to lick me, in case anybody was confused


this guy bought us shots of patron

the next night we went to a house party


not as cute that night


how awesome is mahsa's hair?


apparently this is what people who go to house parties in chicago look like


we freaked out the girl with the bow because we wouldn't stop harassing her about how cute she was all night

so i guess that's it. tonight we went downtown for a while and mahsa tried to buy stuff but everything was ugly, then we met up wtih nora for sushi.

when we got home we watched the baby-sitters club movie and it was pretty awesome. now we're watching white palace, which apparently involves a lot of really hot sex with james spader and susan sarandon. we're only like 15 minutes in but so far it seems like a winner.

i haven't posted a lot of pictures in a while, so here are some. they're not very interesting.


anja's and i are going to beacon's when i get back to nyc, yay!


this is some cute boy i beat at pool at sin-e bar


dana is pretty badass


the kittens turned six months old a few weeks ago!


here is some stuff teddy bought, and he swears it's sausage but i'm pretty sure it's actually poop.


i miss starfuck :(


awww white kitten!


i don't know what this is from but i'm pretty sure it's his soul leaving his body


stephfon looking awesome as always


miranda's mom's tiny cute dog


adorable baby that wouldn't stop staring at me on thanksgiving

and now i'm bored again.

in other news, i have decided to start wearing garter belts instead of regular tights. besides being way hotter, they seem like they would be way more comfortable. does anyone have any recommendations for me?

OH MY GOD I FOUND INDIE KIDS IN MEMPHIS.

seriously.

livejournal people directed me to a bar that a) served stella, b) had an awesome jukebox, and c) had four pool tables. plus they made us amazing sandwiches.

when randall and i walked in, i took a look around and said "okay, this is totally a bar where indie kids would hang out." he was all doubtful and stuff, but i asked the first person to sit down next to us what kind of music she listened to, and she was like "i dunno, indie rock?" eliza 1, randall 0. anyway. i had a super fun time, played a terrible game of pool, and made friends with a cute boy in a joy division tshirt. we're going to a show tomorrow with these two other people i made friends with, and i already have someone offering me a dj gig in january. it turns out that memphis doesn't suck nearly as much as randall thought it did... and i'm feeling kind of proud of myself that i can show up in a random city on sunday night and have fun people to hang out with by tuesday. is that stupid? whatever. i rule.

i'm way too drunk right now. i think the hotel people don't approve of me wandering around the lobby barefoot in pajamas.

also i would like to make an announcement that as of tonight i am forming a new band, and ditching kitten bomb. the new band is called

INSTECT STING

it will feature me, brody armstrong, and david lee roth.

no, seriously. i'm pretty sure i have an in with both of them. but if not, british paul is going to play guitar and patty is going to play bass. INSECT STING is a way better band concept than "all girls, all depeche mode, all the time."

This is why i refuse to go out on weekends. if you can't deal with some snotty bartender being a bitch to you, GO TO FUCKING MIDTOWN WHERE WAITRESSES ARE PAID TO BE SLUTTY AND POLITE! that's the fucking charm of the les... people are rude and abrasive and don't give you free shit unless they LIKE you. that way, there's more free shit to give to people they do like, and the random jersey kids can go fuck themselves.

i don't think i've ever gotten upset about a rude bartender... that's totally their prerogative, and i usually end up tipping them even more because i figure they're just having a shitty night. service industry people have to deal with an insane amount of drunk, perverted, obnoxious, rude customers every thursday, friday, and saturday night, and there's no reason why they should have to do it with a constant smile on their face. if i spent all night getting hit on by sleazy guys and didn't have the option to just turn around and leave the bar, i would probably end up punching at least three people per weekend shift.

so, the moral of the story is, stay the fuck out of my neighborhood if you don't like it. or wait in line to get into libation with all the other douchebags with over-inflated senses of entitlement.

the end.

If you agree with this statement, post it in your journal:

I'm pro-choice, and I would have an abortion.*

*To clarify a bit, this is the exact opposite of, "Though I support a woman's right to choose, I would never have an abortion myself because that leaves me free to theorize about what I would or would not do given an unpredictable situation, as well as free to pretend that I am somehow morally superior to you."

wow don't you love pseudo-political lj memes?

i just ate too much soup and now i feel crappy :( i am tired of being sick.

why do all the theaters near me play only indie movies? hello, maybe i've gotten my fill of the indie scene while living down here and maybe all i want is to go see fucking deuce bigalow or whatever. damnit. seriously, "kiss kiss, bang bang"? what about "bangxbang ninjas dinosaurs robots emoxcore"? i am seriously going to make a movie with that title and it's going to be an enormous hit in columbia, mo.

tonight i stole "shallow hal" and the simpsons "treehouse of horrors 5-8" from matt's.

and i am not even going to talk about how i slept through hanging out with david bowie. and matt bellamy. STOP TAKING SLEEPING PILLS, ELIZA. also the arctic monkeys can eat me. god i hate my life sometimes.

and why do indie kids always have to ruin EVERYTHING? i think that you shouldn't even be allowed to be indie until you're like 19. and you definitely shouldn't be allowed to be straight edge until you're 22. god i fucking hate teenagers. GET A NORMAL FUCKING HAIRCUT AND STOP GOING TO THE MALL. the end.

long weekend. hotel with randall. i am dying. i've gotten like 6 hours of sleep in the last two days. i don't want to dj. i don't want to email people and tell them to come out. i really don't give a fuck about this party anymore.

i am going to sleep for four hours and hopefully wake up in a better mood.

also i think i am going to live in a hotel. everything was so so so nice and i'm really sad to be home.

i can't find katy. i hope she's okay.

tonight was another night i don't really feel like writing about. but i will anyway in the interest of posterity.

there was the carlos black & white dj thing. open bar was pretty fantastic. five martinis in 60 minutes. can't really go wrong with that.

received more bad news. boo. did some bad stuff too. but it's okay.

ended up at carlos' apartment at the end of the night. don't really want to discuss that at all. after that carlos' brother and i ended up at my apartment. we listened to ryan adams and drank budweisers. here are some pictures.


me and don hill. no shit. i totally freaked out a little.


me and mahsa


me and aurelio from calla. you can tell i'm super psyched about meeting him because i don't have my usual picture-scowl.


me and the lnp dude. will get into that later.


this is what carlos did when i told him to "look sexy." i guess this is why he's not a model.


don't remember getting this picture taken but i love love love the faces. johnny t is.... maybe precious is the word?


johnny t and merlin i guess. i don't know why.


family portrait except the younger brother is WAY too cool to participate.


omg carlos' kitten. i am SO in love with him. so so cute!


this dude spent most of the night bent over the table like this, except way more. by the time i got my camera to work he was in the middle of standing up :(

that's it for now. am too drunk. i don't want to have to get up tomorrow do fake dj :(

p.s. i think i win the "most non-photogenic" award.


randall is coming over soon with food and i'm pretty excited about that.

see, the thing was, i spend the first half of the night moping and being depressed. then i did some drugs and everything was okay. so maybe the moral of the story is to do more drugs?

the party was awesome and i made a ton of money. nick marc was adorable and i think i'm in love with him. here are some pictures.


nobody got our costumes


but i love that matt honestly doesn't think he looks anything like robert smith


daniella is insanely hot


nick marc was dressed up as interpol


neil and luc were jesus and the dude, but luc was being a baby and refused to come out. fortunately there was another dude at the party so it all worked out.


miranda and apparently a retarded person


rebecca and jason being awesome


spencer! i can't believe he came.

all the other pictures will be on the starfuck myspace blog as soon as myspace stops sucking.

i started out the night being super hungover and generally feeling like ass, and i assumed that the party would suck, but then everything ended up working out incredibly well. the bar took in six times more money than they had been making before we started the party. so that rules.

i really want chinese food.

so while i was out today i decided to take pictures of my street.


top of ludlow


my old door


the bar i spend too much time at


a building i like


my laundromat


the creperie


the home of my archenemy


my corner


my bed

the end.

hm, my life looks pretty bleak in these pictures. maybe next time i'll venture further than two blocks away from my front door.

jewkunt did this and it looked like fun

copypaste
Ask me to take pictures of stuff and I'll make a funfunfun photo post of your requests! Stuff in my house, favorite things- almost anything!
But yeah, n00dz aren't included in this offer. Sorry.

somebody please buy me this costume so i can be SNAKES ON A PLANE



http://shop.joke.co.uk/epages/jokecouk.storefront/EN/Product/2774

or here if you live in the us:
http://www.mardigrasoutlet.com/details.asp?ProdID=831

also, i'm happy to report that a miniature pony was on the wb show 'twins' tonight.

tonight i was supposed to go to the tim robbins bar but for some reason i'm suddenly allergic to the cats and felt like crap. so instead i stayed home and ate spaghetti and watched tv. i rule. also i found my camera charger, so here are some pictures.


apparently some interpol show


BABIES IN A BAR!


miranda got me TWO kinds of meat pastries. that's what real friends are for.


me and tod doing something, somewhere


some of the magnetic poetry on miranda and matt's refrigerator. i think i uploaded it too small so you probably can't read it.


sniffle sniffle sniffle. maybe i'll take a shower and go out? i still have an hour and a a half before everywhere closes...

okay whatever, i'm taking pills and going to sleep so i can hopefully get up before 3 tomorrow.